A Bloom in the North Read online

  Pathen Ures-emodo

  On the strength of a kiss—and all it implied about who I’d become—I turned fugitive on a dark blue summer night in the back of a wagon outside House Laisira. As one of the Stone Moon empire's Claws it had been my job to investigate Laisira for possible crimes, and in the course of those duties I'd discovered House Laisira was smuggling its members to the dissident Jokka on the plains.

  By that time, I'd already been struggling with my conscience. I'd spent two months working Laisira's fields, loading its wagons and following its principals nose-to-tail, and those two months had changed me. By the time I'd discovered their crimes I was already one of them... but I didn't know it, and they certainly didn't. To protect themselves from discovery they'd attacked me, and there I would certainly have died had Hesa not intervened: Hesa, one half of the pair I'd been sent to investigate, the neuter half, the eperu we'd been sure was indulging in perversities with its Head of Household, Darsi Laisira-emodo. I'd never found evidence of their unlawful relationship because Hesa was not in Darsi's bed. Hesa was doing something altogether worse: it was running House Laisira. Since eperu could not by law run Households, its sin was... extreme.

  But none of that, none of it mattered at all as it rested its brow against mine in the dark of the wagon. Against the canvas walls, backlit Jokku silhouettes rushed hither and yon, finishing preparations for their escape. And instead of finding some way of reporting them to the Stone Moon empire I was lying on the wagon floor, reeling from the terrible implication of my decision—that among my many other sins, I had fallen in love, unnaturally, perversely and very, very completely with Hesa.

  The kiss was inevitable.

  It was also magnificent.

  Hesa could kiss—how Hesa could kiss! It slipped its curled tongue between my fangs and unrolled it against the roof of my mouth, caressing, and I shook under the hand resting so softly on my shoulder. When it withdrew every part of me felt alive, and this... this was what had drawn me to Hesa from the very beginning, the ferocity of its passions, the way it made me feel them too. I curled my hand into its bright red curls and made a fist among them, and the noise the eperu made....

  I lunged up to kiss it again and hissed as the sudden movement broke open the thin clots over the rips my attackers had made in my chest. Hesa caught me by the shoulders, alarmed.

  "Pathen—gods, don't move. Stay." It touched my mouth with its fingers. "I'll fetch something to bind them."

  It left then, its stride swift, disturbing the expensive silk of its gown. From there it stepped off the back of the wagon from which it had thrown my uniform tunic with such prejudice, the wood creaking beneath the shifting weight. I lay back down with my eyes closed and rested one hand over the rents. They were clotting again but the slices were long and in a bad place, at the bottom of my chest and over my abdomen, where any movement would open them again. We bleed a great deal, though our wounds will clot quickly if allowed. I concentrated on allowing them, then. I found I very much didn't want to die despite the uncertainty of the life before me.

  Fleeing the Stone Moon? I didn't think it possible. But if anyone could bring off such a thing, Hesa could. Hesa had a hand for business, for organization—and apparently, for secrecy—that made everything seem possible.

  The wagon creaked again and then I heard the gown hissing against the floorboards. Hesa crouched alongside me and slid its arm around my back, helping me up far enough to get a bandage around my ribcage. One length only; the eperu pressed wads of folded padding to the slices, tying the bandage to hold them in place.

  "There," it said, soft, resting a hand on my collarbones. "That should hold you. Pathen... Pathen, we have a great deal to talk about, and none of it can be done until these wagons are moving—"

  "Go," I said, and drew in a breath to steady my voice. "Go to the work, Laisira."

  It smiled and lapped at my mouth once, stealing that breath. "I'll be back."

  I lost some time then, I think. I remember watching the hurried silhouettes against the canvas wall, black against flickering pale red, orange. Heard the sound of crates being shoved over the ground, the groan of wagons settling beneath weight, the whispers and murmurs of Jokka as they worked. I could have wished to smell something other than my own blood, but the summer night was still, without even a breeze to disturb the hollow space beneath the wagon's fabric roof.

  And then my wagon shuddered and began to roll forth. I lifted my head as Hesa jumped onto the back of it and ducked inside.

  "That took longer than I wanted," it said, settling alongside me with a sigh. "Even without having to be quite so covert. You were the only one we were concerned about catching us."

  "Longer than you wanted?" I said. "It's barely been a quarter of an hour, maybe?"

  "Two," it said, catching my hand up in its. "It's been a little over two hours, Pathen." It touched my cheek with the backs of its fingers, then my chest and arm. "You're not warm, so I don't think you took too ill from your knife."

  "Just weak," I said. "Thirsty."

  "That I can remedy," it said.

  "And not... with honey," I said, thinking of how I'd uncovered Laisira's plans.

  It laughed, that low rich laugh I'd found so compelling when I'd first heard it. "Not honey, I promise."

  I put my head back down. When it returned with the cup it offered me, I said, "I'm not sure wine is... an improvement."

  "I'm not sure either," Hesa admitted. "But the water is in the other wagons."

  "Help me—?"

  It looked behind it, then rose and dragged one of the crates over until it was flush against the wagon wall, closer to me. Then the eperu sat with its back to it and propped me up against its side. I drank from the cup... drank and drank until there was nothing left but a peach-colored gleam on the bottom, and then rested my spinning head against its. The eperu wrapped its arms around my shoulders and held me as the wagon rolled on: smooth, so smooth that I knew we were moving only by the sound of the rikka claws, scraping at a quick trot.

  "We're going north?" I said, puzzled.

  "As scheduled," Hesa said. "Down the road to het Noidla, by way of het Nekelmi. Sometime tomorrow night we'll trade off drivers with Jokka awaiting us in hiding near the road. They'll take over and keep the caravan on schedule all the way to het Noidla while we continue on foot. Westward, toward the plains."

  "Clever," I murmured. "And these strangers?"

  "Fellow dissidents," Hesa said after a hesitation. "From het Nekelmi. We have... an agreement."

  "An agreement to help each other fool the empire?" I said, astonished.

  "Yes," it said. "They are not the only ones. There are discontented Jokka in hets Narel and Serean, too. Though our contacts south are limited."

  I looked at it, ears splayed. "And you need this truedark kingdom, why? If half the empire's already plotting behind the emperor's back?"

  Hesa grimaced. "You make it sound as if there are so many of us, Pathen... but there aren't. Even if all the malcontents I know of banded together we couldn't take on the Claws of the empire. It's too dangerous for most Jokka to turn unease into revolution. It was almost too dangerous for us."

  "But you did it anyway," I said softly.

  "Yes," it said. "I knew from the moment ke Jurenel died that I wanted to win us free of the Stone Moon. I wasn't sure if I could, though. And... only half the House has gone ahead of us. We're not safe yet."

  I studied its face in the dim light: we were far, far away from the firebowls of the House and now only the small lamps on the driver's seats illumined us at all, a wan glow by the time it reached the back of the wagon. "Why?" When it began to speak, I lifted a hand. "Not the reasons you gave before. I know those are true. But... wh
at was it? That made you make the decision. There was something."

  "Of course there was," it said. "And you know what it is. Shall I tell you, or will you admit it?"

  I fell silent. I didn't have to be told.

  Gently, Hesa touched my chin, bringing my attention back. "You know."

  "Yes," I said, low. "Of course I do. Roika does not forgive unnatural eperu."

  "No," Hesa said. "And he tortured two innocents merely for caring for one another. To death. Were you there, Pathen? Did you see it?"

  "No," I said. "I wasn't a Claw then and I never attended the public punishments."

  "I went," Hesa said. "I saw."

  I frowned. "How? You were eperu. You would have had to have a permit to be freed from your duties for the day. You would have been noticed...."

  "Yes," it said, bitterly. "Eperu are not supposed to have free time under the Stone Moon. I know, Pathen. But Jurenel sent an emodo with me, someone to explain that my witness was intended as education for House Laisira's pefna-eperu, so that I could tell the other eperu I commanded on the House's behalf why they should never, ever fornicate with their betters."

  "We're not—"

  "—our betters," Hesa said. "And yet, the emodo are the only of the three sexes to earn any money, make legal agreements, have leisure, have freedom... such as is left beneath the yoke of the Stone Moon. What shall I call them, then? They were our masters." It sighed. "I couldn't live like that, Pathen. And gods, I could not leave the House beneath the empire after seeing what those two endured on the dais."

  I remembered the scandal that had seen those two Jokka tortured for fornication, an emodo and an eperu caught having an affair. Love is not supposed to cross sexes and what had been a cultural taboo before the Stone Moon had become law once Roika took command, for he had some prejudice against eperu, or so it seemed to me. Perhaps I was not the best judge of such matters, however, since I apparently had been nursing the seeds of perversity myself.

  Nevertheless, those lovers, when caught, had been subjected to months of public mortifications. It had been the worst such punishment het Kabbanil had ever seen and talk of it had never quite died in the years that followed. Indeed, that incident had ushered me into the ranks of the Stone Moon's Claws, for afterward the Head of the Claws, ke Jushet, had decided the Houses needed more individual oversight and hired enough emodo to undertake that endeavor. Now that I thought of it, I, no less than Hesa, had made a decision based on the destruction of those lovers: that if we were all to be prey before the empire, I would prefer to be one of the hunters.

  "You, too," Hesa guessed when my silence drew on too long.

  "Yes," I said slowly. "Yes. For all of us, I think. Perhaps even the emperor."

  "Certainly for his empire," Hesa said. "He drew blood that day. Before, it was easy to ignore his fangs." It sighed and rested its head against mine and I felt the fatigue it would never admit to aloud. I chanced a touch along its arm, feeling muscle beneath smooth skin. When I paused, it murmured against my cheek, "More...? Please?"

  "Hesa," I began.

  "If you worry about the driver," it said, eyes still closed—I could feel the lashes against my cheek—"don't. He can't hear us. We're too far back. And..." A smile then. "He's very good at not listening anyway."

  "Someone you know well?" I chanced asking with... jealousy? A hint of it, at least. Gods help me.

  "You could say," it said, amused, tired. "You do too."

  "I—" I stopped then growled, "Don't tell me Darsi is driving this wagon?"

  "He's quite good with the rikka," it said, and did a poor job of hiding its amusement.

  "Good with the rikka and nothing else!"

  "Now, Pathen," it said, and it was no longer bothering to hide the laugh. "Don't be harsh. He did as well as he could with what Jurenel gave us."

  "He did so well I knew the moment I saw him that something was wrong!" I exclaimed.

  "Only because you have a nose for trouble," Hesa replied, a touch more seriously. "We didn't count on you being quite so... incisive."

  "Incisive!" I said. "It did not take great insight to see Darsi couldn't run a House if you twinned him and dumped Jurenel's departed spirit into the extra body!"

  Now it started laughing in earnest against my hair, shoulders shaking.

  "You think I'm making a joke," I said, disgruntled.

  "No," it said, straightening enough to pull its hair back from its face and rub its eyes. "No, I know you're not. And you're right. He's no good for running a House, but he was the only one willing to volunteer to distract you."

  "And what made you think he would make a good distraction?" I said.

  "Because," Hesa said, glancing at me. "Of all Laisira's emodo, he's considered the most attractive."

  I stared at it, agape. And then, finding my tongue, "You chose Darsi because you thought I'd want him?"

  "Yes," Hesa said. "Laisira is a House full of artists, Pathen. Artists and craftsmen. Most of them are withdrawn, not exactly the social sorts, and none of them are actors. Darsi's not much of one either, at that. We didn't exactly have many choices, so we went with what we had and hoped that you would find Darsi enticing enough to want to show him kindness in return for—"

  I pressed my fingers to its mouth to silence it, aghast. When it stopped, I whispered, "You thought I would take a bribe? In the form of sexual favors?"

  It met my eyes and said against my skin, "Other Claws have." When I didn't answer, it added, soft, "And in a way, our strategy worked. It's just that it wasn't Darsi you wanted."

  I reared back, ignoring the fresh pain at the rents, and the fury in my eyes made Hesa flatten its ears... but it, it did not move away. And in the end, that was why I'd found it so enticing, wasn't it? It didn't let fear cow it. Not fear of me, not fear of the empire.

  "If you'd been in Darsi's bed," I began.

  "...you would have turned us in?" Hesa asked. "To be tortured for months on the dais?"

  I grimaced. "No. No! But I didn't do it to get you into my bed!"

  "No?" Hesa asked, holding itself very still.

  "No!" I said. "Never! To compel you? To rape you? In return for my silence? What do you take me for? A—" I stopped.

  "...Claw of the empire?" Hesa finished.

  I stared at it, horror-stricken.

  Hesa gathered one of my hands in its and said, "Pathen. We didn't know you then. We do now. All Laisira knows that you would never have used Darsi for your own purposes. You are an honorable Jokkad, as much as is—was—possible to you within the empire. But it was the only plan we had at the time. We had no choice."

  "Jurenel should have found someone to train as a successor," I said bitterly. "I would never have been forced to shadow you if he'd only done his duty."

  "Pathen... he did." I looked at the eperu and it said, "Me. He trained me as his successor."

  "Jurenel?" I whispered. "Jurenel, the devout? Trained an eperu to take over as Head of Household? He wasn't that stupid. He knew you would never be allowed. That it was against the law. Against nature! What was he thinking!"

  "That I could do the work better than anyone else in the House," Hesa said. "So why would he hire someone else to do so? He didn't care what happened after he died. As far as he was concerned, he'd left the House in the most competent hands he could find. That we would have to figure out some form of subterfuge to make it work didn't matter to him." It sighed. "I wish we'd thought of it sooner. But even I didn't realize what he was doing until he told me on his deathbed that he had been teaching me all the workings of the business for a reason, for this reason. I assumed it was so that I could pass the knowledge on if something happened to the Head of Household."

  These revelations left me reeling; on top of the blood loss and the wine, I thought I would faint, if I wasn't careful, and wouldn't that be ridiculous. It occurred to me then to ask: "All that we did together... were you..."

  "Lying to you?" it said, looking up at me sharply. "To distract you?"


  "Yes," I whispered.

  It touched my lips with two fingers, slid that hand over to cup my cheek. "Pathen. Gods. No. Even if I'd thought to suspect a Claw of that sort of perversion... to draw your eye to me on purpose? When I was what Laisira was trying to hide?"

  I began to relax. "Would have been ill-advised."

  "Yes," it said. "And... I was afraid. I put you to work in the hopes that if I was strong, if I faced you and showed no fear, you would back down."

  I splayed an ear. "It worked."

  "It worked," it agreed. "And the more time we spent together..." It trailed off and took its hand back, to cover its face, rub it slowly, showing its exhaustion. "I should have stopped it. I thought about stopping it often enough. I was born emodo; I remembered what it was like to fall in love. I knew I had no business doing it again now that I was eperu." Its expression when it raised its face again... eyes like wounds, more vulnerable than I'd ever seen it. "No, Pathen. Nothing I feel for you is a lie."

  "Why?" I asked, softer, and touched it beneath one eye. "Why this look?"

  "Did you see?" it whispered. "No, of course, you didn't. You weren't there. The eperu on the dais. That eperu wished with all its spirit that it had never revealed its love and doomed its beloved. Toward the end that was my only thought every time I saw you. That I would be responsible for your torture if I didn't put an end to it, and yet I couldn't do it."

  For a moment I couldn't speak. Then I drew it into my arms, one hand on the back of its head, the other over its spine at the waist. "We're no longer beneath the Stone Moon, Hesa."

  "No," it said. "But Ke Bakil is not free of it yet. And they are not the only ones with opinions about what we feel."

  I frowned, drew back to look at it, saw only the slope of its brow and one errant red curl. But it felt my movement and said against my shoulder, "Eperu do not hold with love, Pathen. Nor with passion of any kind. They have their own laws. Their own society, even, that they do not discuss with breeders. Many of them don't even know that we are... capable... of physical reciprocation."

  So many questions came to mind then, enough that I couldn't order them to speak them. But Hesa flattened its ears and leaned back. "Not now. You won't have long to sleep before we need to start hiking... you need rest."